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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Psych Evaluation

What I'm about to say is controversial. There are some who will call me a liar, a charlatan, or even a traitor to my own kind. But hear me out.

Somewhere, way deep down in the recesses of your mind, the part you're embarrassed to even acknowledge, there is a tiny, tiny part of every Eagles fan who wants the Redskins to win Super Bowl.

Yeah I said it.

The Washington Redskins are our division rival, recent doormat, and the team to whom we recently traded our starting quarterback, Donovan McNabb. And I'm saying that Eagles fan want to see them win it all? Am I crazy? Yes. We all are, just a little.

There are some strong attributes to being a Philly sports fan, and an Eagles fan in particular. We only have a few, very reasonable demands. Beat the Cowboys to a bloody pulp twice or more a year, and win the Super Bowl. Beyond that, another undeniable characteristic that Eagles fans share is suffering. See, we've failed to accomplish the second of those demands for the XLIV years of the Super Bowl's existence--a duration which may exceed the average life expectancy of a Philadelphian these days--and as such, disappointment is par for the course. Suffering is, quite honestly, the thread by which we build community, by which we identify ourselves as fans. The pre-2004 Boston Red Sox were the epitome of the lovable loser. The Eagles, then, are the quintessential hatable loser. But nothing brings people together like a shared feeling that the universe is out to get us.

So while we all want to feel the ecstatic happiness of a world championship, the happiness that those who are also Phillies fans felt in 2008, the next best thing is to be utterly and supremely pissed off that the universe has shat upon us once again. And what better way to have that feeling? I'll give you the scenario: Eagles go 14-2, winning all games except the two against a 16-0 Redskins team. Eagles and Redskins meet in the NFC Championship game, and a McNabb-helmed Redskins squad rolls the Birds and goes on to win the Super Bowl. Or, just as bad, Skins win the Super Bowl while the Eagles miss the playoffs, proving what many of us believe is true: It was foolish to deal McNabb, especially in-division. Sometimes, an "I told you so" is nearly as good as a victory.

I'm not saying Eagles fans are going to start rooting for the Skins. I'm not even saying that folks consciously want for this to happen. But search your soul, Birds fans. Some where, way, deep down, you know I'm right.
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